My eventful CAT scan

See, I knew there was a reason I was nervous. I don't get nervous about stuff like this unless there's a reason.

Here's how it went down - I sat in the waiting room for about fifteen minutes, watching CNN or whatever news show they had on (until our President Elect came on to give a speech, then I watched the floor) and the tech brought out a big styrofoam cup of vile liquid for me to drink. I sniffed of it and took a sip and glared at him as he told me he'd be back in about twenty minutes for me.

Managed to get all of said vile liquid down without throwing it back up (during which a fire alarm went off for at least two solid minutes, we never did find out what "Code Red in the (whatever) room" meant but the people in the office didn't seem concerned so I guess it didn't affect us) and the tech, true to his word, came back to get me. He also brought out another cup of vile liquid for the man sitting across from me, who wanted to know if that was the same stuff "that girl over there" (me) was making faces at. Heh. I snickered. Out loud. Sorry, dude.

So we walked to the room where I could change my clothes (actually they let me keep my clothes on - except for my bra - since I was wearing stuff with no zippers or snaps, go me!) so I took my bra off and sat around feeling like I was getting ready to audition for a very demeaning episode of the Jerry Springer show. The tech came back in and got me and we headed across the hall. He made small talk for a bit while he got stuff sat up - I found out that he used to come hang out (and get drunk) in the town that Will and I grew up in. Cool. I didn't ask him who he knew there, I didn't want to make too much of a connection with the guy who was seeing me in all my floppy braless glory, ya know?

But anyway, he finished getting everything ready and I laid back on the table (yes Beth, I had a pillow, thank goodness for that at least LOL). He made sure I had no shellfish allergies and told me I was crazy because I didn't like shrimp and crab and lobster, and asked to make sure I was not pregnant or nursing, then put the IV in my arm (took a few pokes, as usual) and explained to me about the machine. Ran the table in and did a few scans, and then ran the table back out and came over to put the dye through my IV. Explained what the dye was going to feel like, it would feel warm, possibly leave a metallic taste in the mouth, etc etc. Turned the dye drip on (or whatever they do) and had me put my arm back above my head and ran the table back into the machine.

(Here's where things get eventful.)

The machine tells you several times to breathe, then to breathe in and hold your breath and it counts down how long you need to hold your breath. I had done this a couple of times already so I was watching the numbers count down until I could breathe again and thinking "Dang, I wonder if this stuff is going to hurt going through the rest of my body as much as it does my arm?" About that time he walks over to me and says "What the?.....SHIT!" Erm, that's seriously not what I wanted to hear come out of your mouth, dude. He ran to the back of the room and I laid there wondering if I was having an allergic reaction and was about to pass out, or what, and he came up and grabbed my arm and yanked the IV out and muttered something along the lines of "Does that not HURT?!?" and then I glanced at my arm and it looked like a freaking baseball was laying on my upper arm.

My vein had blown and all the dye went straight into my arm instead of my bloodstream. So of course when I realized that this amount of pain was not normal and was not going to go away any time soon, suddenly it was unbearable. I'm glad he had already removed the IV because I probably would have yanked it out myself trying to get my arm back to normal. (BTW, this is why I can't have codiene because I have this kind of uncontrollable panicked reaction to stuff.)

I sat up for a few minutes while he went and got somebody to confer with (who it was, I have no idea - though I'm sure he told me LOL). I got myself calmed back down enough to finish the CAT scan (but NOT with another attempt at the needle and dye, thank goodness. That would not have gone over well at that point) so I hope and pray they got the pictures that they needed.

I had to sit in a room for a bit with a warm washcloth on my arm until they felt comfortable enough to send me home. Then I had to put my bra back on (AGONY!!!!! I literally could not make my arm reach all the way over to my body, I really doubt I even got the thing on straight) and drive home - a 45 minute drive. I propped my arm up as best I could and made it home, but it wasn't easy. Came in and the kids were just finishing up hanging the last of the ornaments on the Christmas tree. Awww.

One of them said "Mama? What's wrong with your arm?" and that's when I burst into tears. Will took one look at me and told me to go lay down. So I did. I spent the rest of the day in bed watching movies (and napping) while they all waited on me. That was one good thing about it I guess. Heh.

Oh and Dana's such a doll, she didn't know that I had already made the desserts to take to Thanksgiving dinner ahead of time (because I knew - see! I knew - I wasn't going to feel like it after my CAT scan) so she came in there and nervously said "Mama, if you'll tell me how to make the banana pudding and the lemon bars, I'll try my best to make them for you if Daddy will help me." **melt** She was so relieved when I told her they were already taken care of.

The swelling was about 95% gone when I got up this morning, thank God for that. I was able to drive to dinner without any problems, I just had to keep my arm propped up on a jacket on top of the arm rest and remind Nathan a dozen times not to bang my arm (he sits up front now).

And now I need to go load the dishwasher, do my reading, and go to bed. I'm tired.

A belated Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Why my husband is a goober

I was running a bath a bit ago so I could wash my hair for tomorrow. While the water was running, I came and leaned against Will's back while he was doing his homework. He asked me what was wrong and I told him I was just a little nervous.

He said, "No reason to be nervous..........I have seen you naked before."

*roll eyes*

(Oh, BTW Mel, I have a large ...mass... in my abdomen that the doctor is pretty sure is a hernia, but they need to get a good look at it before I go into surgery.)

So I have a CT scan on Wednesday

Should I be nervous? I'm not nervous...mostly. Maybe just a little. But not much. I googled it to find out just what they'd be doing. I guess I need to call to see if they plan to give me a sedative since I'll need someone to drive me if they do.

I'm not nervous. Mostly. But I am glad to finally (hopefully!) be finding out what's going on in there.

Not nervous.

Sigh.

Neat little quiz

You are an Ingrid -- "I am unique"

Ingrids have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me
* Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
* Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
* Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
* Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
* Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like About Being an Ingrid
* my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
* my ability to establish warm connections with people
* admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
* my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
* being unique and being seen as unique by others
* having aesthetic sensibilities
* being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being an Ingrid
* experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
* feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
* feeling guilty when I disappoint people
* feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
* expecting too much from myself and life
* fearing being abandoned
* obsessing over resentments
* longing for what I don't have

Ingrids as Children Often
* have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games
* are very sensitive
* feel that they don't fit in
* believe they are missing something that other people have
* attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
* become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
* feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)

Ingrids as Parents
* help their children become who they really are
* support their children's creativity and originality
* are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
* are sometimes overly critical or overly protective
* are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

Quiz stolen from Betchie, found at:

http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/are-you-a-jackie-or-a-marilyn-or-someone-else-mad-menera-female-icon-quiz

Ooops

I know the ones reading my blog right now already know me and how I coupon shop, so you'll understand.

Jacob and I were shopping today and he was in a *M*O*O*D*. He's normally not bad at the store at all, but good heavens. Allll the way through Kroger and allll the way through Walmart he was whining, throwing a fit because I wouldn't buy every single thing he picked up, walking about fifty paces behind me and dropping to the floor if I tried to go get him to walk closer, etc. The stores were packed too, people all shopping for their Thanksgiving cooking.

So I'm in Walmart and I'm already distracted (see above) and I see Chex cereal for $1.66/box. I think, 'Hey, I've got $1 off one coupons, that's .66 a box! Alllll right!' So I quickly count out my coupons and throw the boxes in the cart. Pick up the rest of the stuff I was getting there and we head to the checkout. I grumble to myself that I can't use the u-scan as we pass them (because they have them set to accept one - yes, ONE - coupon per order before calling over the CSM. RIDICULOUS). Find a cashier with a reasonable line.

I spend fifteen minutes arguing with Jacob that we still have scads of candy at home and he does not need all the packages of candy he was picking up, while the lady in front of me gets finished checking out. So then I get up there and the cashier scans my few things and I hand her my coupons. First she spreads them alllllll out and starts reading over every one. I HATE THAT. I am very patient though and just spend my time talking to Jacob (who is still whining). The cashier would scan like one coupon, maybe two, and then print out a copy of the receipt to make sure I wasn't pulling anything over on her. I HATE THAT. Still trying to be patient - breathe in, breathe out. Finally she spends a full minute reading over one coupon and just as I'm about to snap at her 'Is there a problem?' she hands me the coupon and says "I don't think you bought the right brand of cereal to use this."

I look at it and it's one of my $1 off coupons for the Chex. I sigh and impatiently grab one of the boxes of cereal out and say "Yes, here is.........um, General Mills cereal. And that's a Kellogg's coupon. Er, sorry." I turn about fifteen shades of red as I quickly flip through my binder to find the right coupons (which were $1 off TWO, not one, but still not a terrible price for Chex) and trade them out with her.

I guess it happens to the best of us, eh? (I still hate Walmart though, and only shop there for deals I can't get in the other stores. So there.)

What's taters, Precious?

I was putting on a big crockpot full of potato soup this morning for supper, and - as always happens when I'm fixing anything with potatoes, seriously - I said to myself "What's taters, Precious?"

I see myself in fifty years, fixing supper, saying "What's taters, Precious?" I don't think that will ever not make me laugh.

How do they know us?

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." ~ John 13:34-35

I've been thinking recently how we, both as Christians and as a society, have lost the sense of community over the past few generations. We're a selfish people, a suspicious people, a people that are far more concerned about looking out for ourselves and our immediate circle than for our fellow man.

Those thoughts brought me to the above verse, and then I got to thinking about how the world perceives us as Christians. Ask someone outside of the faith what they think of "Christians" or "the Christian church" in general, and I guarantee you the first thing out of their mouth is not going to be that we show to each other and those around us the love that Christ showed us.

Jesus didn't tell his disciples (and us) that people would know we belong to him because we browbeat sinners, or because we display a cross, or because we have an Ichthys fish on our car, or because we have a pro-life sign in our yard. He said they would know because we love one another. Sounds pretty simple.

So why isn't it?

Well, I'm here

Betchie, I hope you're happy. You finally wore me down. :P

I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. ~ Revelation 19:11

I needed to be reminded of the one who is Faithful and True today, so thanks for your blog.

*smoochies*